I recently took my sons through a rites of passage into manhood. I had decided when they were just little babes that I would take them through some kind of passage into manhood. When they were 13 I gathered togehter all the significant and godly men in their lives and we had a feast and a time of blessing. The men and I blessed my sons and also gave them warnings of the dangers they faced as men. It was a significant event for both of my son's lives.
Today we went another step further into their journey into manhood. First I taught my sons about the 5 essential lessons of male initiation. Those five are:
- Life is painful.
- Life is not about you.
- You are not in control.
- You are not that important.
- You are going to die
Today I taught my sons about these lessons. They are preparing to move away from home and live on their own for the first time. They are ready. They are awesome men of God. And I wanted to better prepare them for life.
We focused specifically on the first lesson; life is painful. I taught them that life is painful and that we cannot run from pain and we must avoid numbing the pain. We have to accept that life can bring pain and that we cannot avoid it. Men have a tendency to run from pain or to numb it through alcohol, drugs, sex, money and all the other distractions that life can bring.
After teaching them this lesson, the three of us went to a tattoo parlor and chose tattoos that spoke about our hearts as men. I told them that as they experienced the pain, to remember that life was painful. That as they bled, they were entering into a covenant to use their gift of masculinity for the good of God's Kingdom, for their families, and for their community. I also told them that everytime they looked at their tattoos they would be reminded of the covenant and of the time of initiation into manhood. They would also be reminded of us doing this together.
I believe this will seal the truth of the gift of their masculinity for the rest of their lives. I will NEVER forget this day!!!
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